|
|
Post by katiekat on Feb 19, 2007 22:32:03 GMT -5
Lately I have been having an extremely hard time handling Sean.His behavior is just pushing me to the brink of insanity.The 6 days off from school in a row probably didnt help. I have tried to talk to my husband about this and although he is sympathetic he has no solution. I feel that he needs to do more for and with Sean. I understand that he works long hours but I really cant take much more. When I met my husband I knew he had a child full time and I knew I would be involved in raising him and I had no problem with that. However I had no idea what I was in for. His behavior has just gotten worse and worse and I feel like I have wasted my time trying so many different things and now I have just kind of given up. I dont think my H understands exactly how difficult Sean is beings that is all he has ever known but I have raised another child and I know that this is not normal. I think my biggest fear is we waited all this time for these appts.(neurologist and psych.) and now that they are just about here I am afraid that our only option we have left(medication) is not going to work. And then what?? Another thing I am tired of hearing is that Sean behaves this way because he has had such a traumatic life.His life has been very stable. His bio. mother left when he was 1 so he has no recollection of ever living with her. He has always lived in the same home and I've been around for years. If anyone has had trauma it would be my son. Before I met my H we moved 7 times and he was in 3 different schools. When he was 8 in a matter of 2 months his dad got married, they had a baby,moved to FL,we moved and he left the school he'd been in for 4 years,I had to get rid of his dog,I got engaged,AND my mom who he was very close to died. Yet his behavior never changed,his grades never suffered, and he got through it. So it infuriates me when people use this as an excuse. Sorry I am babbling and all over the place but I am just stressing majorly.  |
|
|
|
Post by charliegirl on Feb 19, 2007 23:37:06 GMT -5
You do have a right to feel stressed. Its extremely hard raising a child with neurological issues and the problems you have with Sean are enough to drive anyone to drink. Feel free to vent away here. We all know what its like to have people blame environment, which boils down to meaning parenting, as the kid's main problem.
You are a wonderful mother to Sean. Your husband should be more supportive. Unfortunately, most husbands don't have the time with the kids that the moms do, so they don't see it as exhausting as we do. Anyone can take a couple of hour's stress but 24/7 is a whole other ball game.
Hang in there and hope that you are at the end of the worst of it. Many people have said their kids have become socially and academically adept just by going on meds. The difference they can make is remarkable. I'm praying Sean is one of them. I'm sure he will be much happier also when he has more self control.
|
|
|
|
Post by notellin on Feb 20, 2007 0:00:59 GMT -5
It does get better! I feel the worst time really is kindergarten and first grade when the child is immature, not understanding much, and the school is relentlessly complaining but doing nothing about it except gripping at you. And to top it off, you don't have an evaluation yet, or any recommendations yet. There's only one place to go from here -- up.
|
|
|
|
Post by misty on Feb 20, 2007 9:33:11 GMT -5
There's only one place to go from here -- up. I agree with notellin~things can only get better! As CG said, come vent your heart out here when ever you need to. Just talking to people who understand & don't judge you can help take a bit of the load off!  |
|
|
|
Post by unicorn on Feb 20, 2007 14:04:14 GMT -5
I agree with everyone else, it wil get better as Sean gets older. You are doing all the right things and I am here for you whenever you need a shoulder.
|
|
|
|
Post by lostmyshoe on Feb 20, 2007 19:08:05 GMT -5
Hi Katie,
Just wanted to send some hugs your way. I know sometimes it may seem hopeless but as kids get older it does get better. I hope your H will be able to help you out more like you need. I've had a couple of rough months myself with my daughter who has ADD but things seem to be settling down. I had to get some help from my H too. Please hang in there and know you've always got friends here that understand.
|
|
|
|
Post by katiekat on Feb 20, 2007 19:45:48 GMT -5
Thanks everybody!  Tomorrow is Sean's neurologist appt. Does anyone know what I should expect that they will do? |
|
|
|
Post by crazyhouse on Feb 20, 2007 22:51:14 GMT -5
KK I have followed your posts for awhile because Jake and Sean have a lot in common! Lately I have been going insane myself with Jakes never ending babbeling and shock tactic behavior. I swear he is going to give me a heart attack Before I hit 30 something  and of course his behavior for me is always at his worst when he is with me and not so bad with dad or a perfect angel for the grandparents!!! Now I have a question for you. Has Sean's behavior spiked since his egg donor lady has come back into the situation? Is he spending time with her? Does he have little comments after visits with her that seem out of the ordinary? The reason I ask is because I have seen what a third parent figure in a childs life can do to them. Confusion, defiance, rebellion, and self esteem issues. I'd rather ask and have you ponder it then not ask and it be over looked. I hope you know you are a great mom. I also get mad when people blame the enviorment a child has lived in. Sean sounds like he has had a good life and it is not right for someone to judge his upbringing as an easy out on all his problems. Hang in there. <<<<<<<Hugs>>>>>>> |
|
|
|
Post by katiekat on Feb 20, 2007 23:13:23 GMT -5
His behavior really hasn't changed since she's moved back here. He sometimes talks to her on the phone and twice she took him out to eat. He doesn't mention her much and basically he just wants her to buy him things.
I have been keeping a journal for a few months now and really changes in his behavior and excessive out of control behavior at school dont coincide with her being around or not. He seems to be indifferent to her-she's kind of like an aunt who pops in and out and that's all he's ever known of her.
She is supposed to be getting an apartment soon and wants him to stay overnight.We are not telling Sean until it actually happens as she is less than reliable. I don't know how I feel about this as I like him to eat and shower. Then again I think I prefer he spend time with her than his grandparents who I think are a big part of the problem and are seriously warping the poor child.
|
|
|
|
Post by crazyhouse on Feb 21, 2007 1:10:55 GMT -5
Well if Sean's grandparents are anything like Jake's grandparents there is no swaying them to benefit Sean. I'm guessing, with Jake his grandma is very set in her ways and has never had to deal with a child like Jake until he came along. When she started having issues with food allergies and disipline problems we decided that it was to much stress for her to handle Jake for long periods of time. We also decided he had to many risks being with her without supervision (mainly food allergy risks) So my husband and I gave her some space between visits, we also have not been able to let him stay at her house long periods of time since she bought a dog that triggers his asthma. We didn't want to hurt her feeling and so we would try to go over to her house but not let Jake spend the night. we also would meet up outside the house like at the McD's playland for lunch or the mall. This has made a huge difference in thier relationship. They are so eager to see each other now and enjoy thier time together more. If that is part of your problem you should definately sit down with your H and address the situation, and find a solution that best fits you, your H, and Sean. The most important people. I hope this helps you  |
|
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
