Imaginary friend

[mary2]

I posted about this on another board a long time ago, but the subject still keeps my mind busy.

Do your kids have or have had imaginary friends?

My son started talking to "nobody", about a year ago, I am not really sure but it has been very long. He plays alone and keeps talking to his friend; even when he plays with his game boy he shows what he is doing to his friend. At the end of the school year he had stopped this behavior a little, but during vacations it has increased considerably. Even when we are out at places like shopping malls or parks he speaks as he walks. His therapist has told me this is a way to relieve stress and anxiety. I have noticed that since he started treatment with Concerta he has become more anxious; I don't really know if there is a connexion. I know this behavior is common in many kids, but these ongoing conversations during almost the whole day sometimes make me think there might be something that is not going well. I ask him about this friend and he gets very upset.

So, what do you think?

[misty]

hmmm.....I don't know. If it worries you, it can't hurt to look into it farther, but I'm thinking it is probably pretty normal. Shannon had imaginary friends. She said they were ghosts & she'd play with them, talk to them, etc. They just seemed to disappear one day when she was 8 or so. My sister used to talk to her belly button when we were kids. If we'd ask her a question she always had to ask her belly button before answering. I have clear memories of this & even now that she's 36, the family still teases her about it!

[puzzled]

Jonna had many imaginary friends too...I think it comes from mainly playing by herself. She would run through the house playing with them, and chastise us for sitting in the chair that they were currently occupying.

As she got older, and had friends at school, they diminished, but I am like misty, if it worries you, there is no reason not to look into it further...

Concerta made Chase anxious too....but I know that you do not have as many options in your country as I do here...

[mary2]

I have been told many times it is normal; it just calls my attention that it is too frequent. Anyway, he starts therapies again tomorrow, so the therapist will tell me again what she thinks this time. It might be related to the anxiety like she told me once, and I guess there's not much I can do about it. Just let him go with it as a way to relieve his stress.

Marcel started wonderfully the first few months with Concerta. However, his grades went down at the end of school year, and he also had a hard time at a public class they had. I even decided I wouldn't be taking my son to those public classes any more. They are just too stressful for him, me, and my husband. Like Puzzled said we don't have any more choices here other than Ritalin. I am just waiting to see how he starts this school year, and depending on that I will decide if it is worth for him to continue taking the Concerta. He has done progress in reading, but focusing on things like math, English, and other subjects is still way difficult.

I am sorry to say that I am terribly scared at this moment in regard to school. I would like to be optimistic, but it is difficult for me at this time.

[charliegirl]

Have you talked to the dr about something for his anxiety? Its possible you may need to give him something for that. Anxiety and stress can create ADHD symptoms in themselves so its possible the Concerta is helping the ADHD but the anxiety needs to be treated before you will see the true results.

[mary2]

charliegirl said:

Have you talked to the dr about something for his anxiety? Its possible you may need to give him something for that. Anxiety and stress can create ADHD symptoms in themselves so its possible the Concerta is helping the ADHD but the anxiety needs to be treated before you will see the true results.

The dr whom I take my son to is very reliable here in regard to adhd diagnosis, but I am afraid he is from a very old school. I have mentioned the anxiety issue before and he tells me it is just part of his diagnosis and I have to try to manage that anxiety by setting some standards in his environment. This is very difficult since he is expected to deal with school matters just like the other kids who are not adhd, so...

I am also very skeptical about adding more meds to him; I mean, what kind of medication is he supposed to take to relieve anxiety? natural? is there something that's OK for adhd children and is not a kind of drug? Those are things that keep me thinking a lot; I mean, I don't really have a lot of information on that. My ds was once prescribed Risperdal ( by another dr) for some aggression episodes he was having while on Strattera; this was when I looked for a second opinion since I was told Strattera was not safe; I didn't add the risperdal to my son, instead I stopped the Strattera and the aggression disappeared. Then we decided to start Concerta and here we go with the anxiety .
Besides finding relief with his imaginary friend, my son takes deep breaths very often, I suppose that is anxiety also.

Anyway, I think it is a good idea to look further into this anxiety and see what can be done; but it will definitely have to be with another dr. I really respect the current one and trust him a lot, but I suppose that if I take him again I will get exactly the same thing; that is, me being the one who needs to work anxiety with my son.

[katiekat]

My son is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in addition to ADHD and also talks to himself constantly and takes deep breaths a lot saying things like "Calm down" to himself. He is taking Depakote for his aggression and Adderall but nothing for anxiety.

[jill]

My girl if she has no friend will pick up a rock and call it rock friend and talk to it. She did meet a friend this summer at the pool and now they are inseparatable why I am not around much.

[charliegirl]

After seeing the links on imaginary friends that my friend sent for you, I did my own search.

Most kids have imaginary friends but from what I have read, the fact that your son is so creative in his friend is an indication of being very bright, possibly gifted. Have you considered that he may not be paying as much attention in school and getting lower grades because it isn't challenging enough?

See if there is an IQ score somewhere in the paperwork from his testing. That may give you a better idea of whether this is something to consider.

The fact that he slowed down with this shows that he brings out the friend more when he doesn't have as much stimulation from real kids.

[mary2]

Thanks Charliegirl!

The articles made me feel better about my worries.
Last year his psychologist told me that my son was extremely creative; in fact, she suggested getting him into art classes so he could express that creativity much better. I haven't done it because he has too many things during the week; he attends therapies three days a week and karate classes, so...

I know I have a brother who exhibited high IQ in school and he was always bored in classes, as a coincidence, he is extremely good at drawing faces and human figures. My son, also loves drawing and coloring and is very good at it when he does it by his own and not by an assignment from school. He would represent on a paper the smallest detail in a city you could never imagine. Maybe you are right; but I am afraid he will be too loaded with activities this school year. I will think about it anyway.