Online Nervous Breakdown

[katiekat]

Be forwarned, this will be rambling, longwinded, and may not make sense because I am JUST SO FED UP. I am fed up with Sean's sh** I am fed up with the school refusing to recognize and deal with his problems in a constructive way. I am fed up with having no psychiatrist to put this kid on some meds that work because he needs them NOW. I need them now. I am sick and tired of his behavior at school. I am tired of telling him over and over not to do something and get another note home AGAIN to tell me that he's doing it. I am sick of him screwing around with pencils and crayons instead of doing his work. Sick of him not staying in his seat and really sick of him non stop talking in class. I will no longer be getting a weekly communication book I will be getting a note every day because Sean cannot behave ever. He is now sitting in his room with no TV,and no toys because I do not know what else to do. If he is consistently doing these things the school should get a clue. HE NEEDS SOME ACCOMIDATIONS! Although most kids can have all their school supplies at their desk it is obvious to me that Sean cannot. They should be put somewhere else. He should have a 504 since they are so adament that he has no LDs. I am real sick of the nurse calling me EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY to ask if Sean's pediatrician called me back yet. NO HE DIDNT! And believe me lady you will be the first to know when he does. Because I want you off my back more than anything in the world right now. I am his parent and I don't want him taking the Adderall anymore and it doesnt matter what the ped. says. I have never ever ever had this much stress in my life. Ever. My whole world revolves around this crap. I spend hours on the phone and at appointments and meetings. All for nothing. Wasted time. I am now going to go chain smoke an entire pack of cigarettes and since we have no alcohol in the house drink a bottle of Scope.

[jj]

Gosh, how did you find your sense of humor after all that? Scope? Well, at least it isn't a generic brand.

I don't know Kk. Did you never find an advocate in your area? I just don't know how you are going to get what he needs without one. Either that or a lawyer???

I'm just curious but do you know what kind of accomidations you think he needs?

Big giant hugs to you. I know it is just too much for one person to deal with. (I know there is hubby but you do most of the "dealing" with things)

[misty]

Kk,



agree with JJ, you need an advocate like yesterday! Oh, and Nyquil is better than Scope!

[charliegirl]

KK, I feel so bad for you. Did you ever get the complaint in to the state DOE? What are they doing about it?

[bugsmom]

Oh, KK...I don't even know what to say. I know your trying so hard to get him help. I just want to fly you and Sean to Michigan and take you to Josh's Psych...she'd take you in a minute. I'm just heartbroken over over your pain.

I'm praying for comfort and peace for you tonight...Big Hugs coming your way.

[katiekat]

Well I have calmed down a bit. Thanks for all your kind words. JJ-as far as my sense of humor goes my motto has become "If I don't laugh I'll leave" because I'm not much of a crier I had to change that last word.
I have never had any luck finding an advocate. There are none in this area-they are all up north which is way too far. There are 2 attorneys in the area but we refuse to pay a lawyer. I 'm sorry but paying what we do in taxes,which is extremely high, not happening at this point. We already have paid thousands and thousands of dollars on things that have been no help.
Next week is Sean's conference so I'm going to see what the teacher thinks. Who knows, she is very different from last years teacher so maybe she will agree that the eval. is needed. I think Im getting paranoid...or not-but I re-read the note she sent home and am wondering why she will sending home a note each day instead of the book. Then I thought of something-the note said sign and return. Oh no, Im not giving that back until I photocopy it today. Does she want to keep all the "evidence" or what? I also want the communication book back and will be keeping it. As for Sean I think he thinks this is all a big joke. He couldn't care less. There was an incident at the playground yesterday he caused which had me slinking home like a dog with it's tail between it's legs. These kids were playing kickball, he asked to join, they let him, he was telling everyone what to do and wanted the whole game changed to suit him, they refused, he's screaming in one kids face and freaking out like a psycopath and everyone is watching. On the way home I talked to him about getting along with others,compromising etc...and I said do you now who caused the problems in the game. And he said Yes,Matthew. Not quite. Although he was punished last night it meant nothing to him. Today he has a half day and if he cannot go 3 1/2 hours without getting in trouble there will be trouble at home. He needs to know this is serious and he's not getting it. I told him if I get a bad note today I will throw out his entire bag of Halloween candy. He took that very seriously so we will see....

[charliegirl]

I would ask her why she isn't willing to use the communication book. You can always sign it if you have no comment to make showing you had seen it. She can make a copy of anything she feels is necessary.

Thinking about it, you keep the book at the end of the year. She will have all the notes and you won't have a copy unless you make them yourself. By giving them back to her, you would have no proof that she had any concerns about him whatsoever, thus no way of proving that the school had reason to suspect a disability and did nothing as they are required to under Child Find.

If you have to use the notes method, make sure you make a copy of them and don't tell her you are making them. If that is why she is doing notes, she will stop being honest in them. Save copies of all of them, good and bad, so no one can say you only saved the bad and are taking them out of context.

[jj]

KK, Have you talked to any of the advocates that live too far away? They may be able to do something "long distance" and sometimes schools will start shaping up really quick if they know you have an advocate. Or maybe they know of someone in your area that isn't listed or something.

At the very least they may be able to guide you step by step on how to handle the school.

We all know Sean doesn't choose to be bad- no child that young does. I pray that as he gets older consequences will start to mean something as well as praise for doing things right.

There will be a point, if nothing changes with the school, that not getting a lawyer based on the "principle of the thing" (you paying taxes and all) will not be an option. Only you and your hubby will know when that point comes. One thing I would do now is consult a lawyer and ask them what do you need to be compiling for evidence.

[puzzled]

I agree with jj, I called my advocate, and granted, my problems were miniscule compared to yours, but she talked to me for at least an hour, telling me exactly what I needed to ask for, gather and expect from the school. She was very helpful and informative, and maybe if you can go in and say you have talked to a state advocate and she/he told you this or that was required, they will sit up and take notice....

She also sent me stacks and stacks of rules, regs and information.

[lostmyshoe]

Hey KK,

So sorry you are going through such a hard time. I wish so much you could get the 504. It helped Becca a great deal. I had found a psychologist on my own outside of the school and had Becca diagnosed and he went with me to the school and we sat down and made up the plan. I know you may have already tried that route. I sure hope your pediatrician gets back to you with some suggestions as to where to go from here. Hoping you get some rest this weekend and this coming week is a better one for you. Hugs to ya.