Smart mouth

[unicorn]

How many of you have the biggest smart mouth of a child? I am really having issues with Tiff and her belting out smart stuff all the time.

I understand that she acts impulsively, believe me we all understand that. And things just some out of her mouth where as we can think and not have that rude comment come out. But how do we drill it into their head that it is inappropriate? Is this something that one day she will just get. Like I am still waiting for her to brush her teeth in the morning without being reminded.

[misty]

Keep waiting, Uni. Shannon is 13 & still needs reminded to brush her teeth. I always ask her "How can you FORGET to do something you've done daily for 13 years??"

The smart mouth will just get worse...wait until she has her first real PMS...ARGH. When Shannon gets sassy I don't get sucked into an argument. I just send her straight to her room & refuse to talk with her until she can talk in a normal tone.

You are not alone.

[puzzled]

Jake is not a smart mouth as much as he is developing such an attitude. You cannot please him some days....Chase just kind of looked at him and shrugged today when he was having a moment...and I told him..."It is because he is 14. Trust me, you will do the same in three years when you are 14."

[charliegirl]

Sometimes all the will in the world won't keep me from saying something inappropriate, even when I am trying to think of the right response something will pop out I didn't even realize I was going to speak.

It doesn't happen often now, mainly when I feel like I'm under extreme pressure or put on the spot about something and I'm not comfortable with the person I am speaking with

Have her try to wait 3 seconds before she opens her mouth and just relax and think slowly. It isn't easy. Also, assure her that if she says something and then says she didn't mean it you will listen to her try to explain what she did want to say.

I think most people do outgrow it but everyone puts their foot in their mouth once in a while. If you are patient with her so she doesn't feel like she has to respond to what you said instantly, she will be less likely to blurt out any old thing. I really believe stress increases the likelihood someone will say the wrong thing.

Now, if she thinks its cool to insult people or be rude and disrespectful, consequences may do the trick.

Without knowing exactly what you mean, its hard to figure out.

An example of attitude is when I was a teenager, for some reason I decided to call my father "dear" when I was upset and it came out rude and disrespectful. I think he let it slip once and then the next time he said "don't ever talk to me that way again". Believe me, I didn't.

Another time I was trying to compliment a friend and she thought I accused her of trying to steal my boyfriend. I never even considered that. I'm still not sure what actually came out of my mouth but she took exception to it. If she had asked me to clarify what I was talking about, she would have known. She took it at face value and beat me up. Thats the only time I ever was in a fight after the age of 5 or so. The next day she asked me if thats what I meant, so I explained and she apologized. I accepted but we weren't friends after that either. I knew the likelihood of my saying something that would offend her after that was too high and wouldn't chance it.

[katiekat]

Joseph has become quite the smart mouth lately. He talks to me as if we are peers instead of mother/child. It started up real bad once he started middle school. He always has to get the last word in and argues everything I say. He must think I am a complete idiot and that he is the smartest, coolest, person on earth.

[unicorn]

I feel that way too Katie. Tiff always wants to have the last word. She thinks that she knows everything in the world at the ripe age of 9. And at 41, I don't know anything. When I can prove somethhing that she thinks she is right is wrong, that hushes her up for a while.

It happens a lot with schoolwork. If I tell her a problem is wrong and she is screaming that it is right. I have her double check it and then you hear "oh", and she'll change it lol. But all the energy she uses fighting could be used for something, let's say fun...

[lisacap]

Can we put them all in a room, and see who is the smartest, toughest biggest kid there...I can almost guarentee none of them would open their mouths they way they do in the houses..the mouths are horrible, Christian this morning said to me " Ya whatever Buddy"....I was ready to kill, I am not your buddy, nor do I want to be your buddy, and you ever call me buddy again, you will be making bubbles out of your buddy mouth....where do they get off...I was so afraid to talk back like that to my parents....

[misty]

Oh I can relate, Lisa. Shannon calls me "Dude" & I HATE that! Usually its when shes smarting off at me...she always ends it with Dude. I told her next time she calls me dude I'm gonna get undressed & show her I am NOT a dude, no matter who's around when she says it & she hasn't called me that since...LOL...whatever works!

[katiekat]

OMG Joseph calls me dude too. And he calls me gangsta. He also likes to end his sentences with the word yo. As in "I'll do it later, yo." Yesterday I got him a library book that he needed for school and I told him that I got it. He didnt say anything so I repeated myself and then said "and your reply is....?" What I was looking for was a thank you but what I got was a thumbs up and he said "good job?" Last night I had to take him somewhere and he said I cant wait until I get my drivers license. I said me either. Then he told me that when he did he was not going to be my little lackey running around doing favors for me. Sometimes I think its such a shame that it's illegal to punch your kid in the mouth.

[charliegirl]

Have you ever tried to picture your child in the workplace and still using that language and attitude?

I haven't ever had a boss who would appreciate being called dude or gangsta, or told whatever.

Can you imagine telling your boss Hey whatever dude! Yeah, I'll get at it gangsta but you know, you are totally wrong man and I'm gonna prove it to you, yo!

I have had to ask my son to interpret what he just said many times. He will come back with something like "don't you understand plain English?" and I have to inform him "I speak English very well but this word you used means this and that one means that and when you put it all together you make no sense at all."

I get that look, you know the one I mean. The look that says you are so not cool and I don't know how you survived to have a smart kid like me who already knows everything at the ripe old age of 12 when you obviously have an IQ of around 10.