maturity

[lisacap]

I have to add my two cents..Sorry.,,,,where do you live and why would you listen to a parent of a older child on what "your" child should be able to carry, wear or eat out of. Justin is going in first grade, and Mikayla in fourth, Christian in Seventh...so since 3rd grade Christian has carried a Red Sox back pack, new style every year, and again this year has got one. Mikayla has had everything from Dora and Elmo, to High School Musical and now this year the big one is Hannah Montana, Justin has had, Sponge Bob, Bob the Builder, Superman and Spider man, this year he has Pirates of the Carribean, with like all 3 have matching lunch boxes, notebooks, folders, and even pencils...what is the problem in first grade if a child can not express themselves...I am sorry, but this post made me so angry when I read it..LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS.....the adult world is tough enough for us sometimes, lets not make our 5 and 6 year olds have to be part of it....Take the stuff back, and let him get what he wants and likes, I am sure you will find he will not be the only child in that classroom with a character back pack, and if he is SO WHAT...it is what he likes and wants...I wouldn't do to much worrying that he is going to be made fun of over his underwear. My son is 12 at overnight camp for 2 weeks and is wearing boxers with sponge bob, the family guy and what ever else I could find on them....no one should really be caring what kind of underwear a child has on....that is just insane...again sorry, but this post about the back packs just really P.O'd me....they are kids, lets let them act that way....

[charliegirl]

I don't think I have ever seen a kid in 3rd grade or under walking in or out of the school here without some kind of character either on themselves or their bookbag. As a matter of fact, when my son was in 4th, we had to get him a bag that was too large because we couldn't find any in the stores without some kind of character or program on it.

If your son wants a favorite character on his backpack, I would let him have it. I can't imagine most of the other kids not having them too. They aren't very expensive so if you have to replace it due to teasing, you could let him use that one for going places or storing cool stuff.

[mary2]

Well, I must admit I feel so bad about my post. There are many issues that surround this matter that do not come to the topic, I guess I just got off topic and expressed too much about something that is far from the maturity issue.

My son will attend next year a single sex school. Here where I live public schools don't offer anything good; so, we have to rely on private ones and generally they are single sex catholic schools. At that school, all stuff must be identical; that means uniforms, notebooks, folders, etc, etc, etc... The only thing they get to have a choice is for the backpack and for the lunchbox. But the rest is identical for everybody, even pencilcases. I was told that usually older students tease younger ones about things I already explained in the post. So, I am the first one who doesn't need my kid to be teased and rejected more than he has already been on previous years.
There are too many things I would have to say in order to make everybody understand this; I never thought the topic was going to get so annoying for everybody for I would have never posted it. Maybe, I will never be understood anyway.

Maybe things are just different where I am. So, sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I just expressed thoughts on a subject that I am not happy about myself., but maybe was taken wrong by others and I ended up staining myself here. So sad for this.

I love my son more than anything else in the whole world and I certainly make sure he has his favorite characters at home on his bed, on dvd movies, and as anything that makes him feel happy as a child. It was just the backpack thing that bothered me that I felt I needed to write about for I feel is completely wrong.

Again I am sorry.

[misty]

I'm sorry, Mary2. I didn't realize that all things had to be identical except for a few items. It certainly is a tough decision to make: do you let him take the risk of being teased over a simple backpack, or not? When put that way, I can understand why you chose products that will let him remain part of the crowd & not stand out like a sore thumb. I think in your shoes, I'd have made the same choice. Its hard enough on our kids without adding teasing that we could easily avoid by just choosing a different lunchbox or backpack. If you can do it financially, maybe let him choose a 2nd backpack with a character on it for when you go places as a family that he can use to pack his toys in or books. Then maybe he'll feel better and he'll use the plain backpack for school without as much fuss.

[bugsmom]

Oh Mary, please don't feel bad or apologize for your post. I, for one, totally understand where you were coming from. It had nothing to do with the backpack issue, you just want your son to fit in and I TOTALLY get that. If some parent would have issued the same info to me, I'm sure I would have considered the same actions. Our kids struggle everyday with issues that other parents don't give a thought to and all we can do is try to protect our little ones from any further ridicule then needed. So please, don't feel bad.

I think what everyone is really upset with is that we live in a world where a 1st grader could be teased for this. That's what drives me nuts.

Hugs to you Mary....((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))) I don't want you to feel bad.

[charliegirl]

I didn't understaned that the older kids picked on the younger ones. I assumed it was all in the same grade. Sorry about that.

I would make sure my son didn't stand out either in that situation. I do think the school should put a stop to that teasing. Its a form of bullying.

[lisacap]

Don't feel bad Mary for posting and venting...sometimes conclusions are made with out all the informtion, I for one jumped the gun, thinking he would be made fun of by first graders, not older kids which really upsets me, why would the older kids even bother with them. If everything in the school has to be the same then you have no choice to abide by their rules, my kids are in private school as well but they only have to dress the same, school supplies and such we buy so they can get what they want...I would take Misty's suggestion, buy him the character one he wants, and if the kids all have them on the first day switch the bags, leave the tags on so you can return one, or keep the character one for family outings and toys....I apologize if I was the one who made you feel bad....

[mary2]

Actually I feel much better after I added the other details.

Yes, my son has many different backpacks at home with different characters which he usually takes for the pool, sleeping at my parent's, or just carrying his toys. Last year at preschool the backpack was also part of the uniform and it wasn't single sex. When they start primary school they send boys and girls to different buildings at different neighborhoods, and they make a slight change in regard to choosing backpacks. They do this supposedly to avoid kids concentrating in things that would distract them as I understand. This school is way too strict, I don't even think is the best one for my son and he has had a hard time coping with very high demands for him; I tried to place him at at different one to start his primary; unfortunately he wasn't admitted. There is another school I am keeping an eye for next year where they even have special accommodations for adhders; it is about 45mins drive from my home, but I am still considering that one for next school year. It is very much the American style and is normally very crowded, so it is difficult to find a place. I hope I can make something about it for next year. I tried this year, but I couldn't.

Well, let's get back to the maturity topic . Any other thoughts??

[katiekat]

Well as I mentioned before my son is also very immature and like your son he is one of the oldest in his class-he will be 7 not long after school starts. I try to explain things to him the best I can, like joking around, and things that he does to other kids that upset them and make them no longer want to be his friend. He also does not seem to get when kids are being mean to him. I have tried a lot of things but sadly realize I cannot change his personality. I am hoping that the social skills classes he will be starting help some-do you know if there is anything like that available where you live? It is hard to see your kid be disliked-Sean was DX with a lazy eye not too long ago and now he has to wear a patch on his eye-I know this is going to be one more thing for the kids to pick on.

[puzzled]

katiekat said:

Well as I mentioned before my son is also very immature and like your son he is one of the oldest in his class-he will be 7 not long after school starts. I try to explain things to him the best I can, like joking around, and things that he does to other kids that upset them and make them no longer want to be his friend. He also does not seem to get when kids are being mean to him. I have tried a lot of things but sadly realize I cannot change his personality. I am hoping that the social skills classes he will be starting help some-do you know if there is anything like that available where you live? It is hard to see your kid be disliked-Sean was DX with a lazy eye not too long ago and now he has to wear a patch on his eye-I know this is going to be one more thing for the kids to pick on.

KK will the teacher let you go in and talk to the class about his lazy eye?

My younger brother and sister both had to wear the patch for it and my mom went in and talked to the classes, using the analogy of a brother or sister that never helped to clean up, and got lazy. Then the mom said...the industrious one needed a break so the lazy one could get back into shape.....you get the picture?

Also I heard a story about a mom that went out and got cool stickers for the patch..to put on it to decorate it. And the kids were so excited every day to see what stickers the child had on the patch that they ran up and greeted her daily to see them...she became popular over the eye patch!