Should we homeschool??????

[islandmom]

Hi everyone, It's been quite a while since I had the chance to visit but sooo much has taken place since I was here last. I'll try to be brief! We moved during the summer, which means new school & new school district. We finally got an IEP at the end of last school year (it was like pulling teeth to get it). We are now in the 6th week of the new school year & nothing from the IEP is being implemented! My daughter is in the 3rd grade (barely) but they stuck her in a 3/4 combo class with 31 students and refuse to move her! The teaching style leaves much to be desired, she does not explain things or go over instructions. Her thought is that the kids in the class should be able to handle it because most of them are 4th graders! Also, we have changed meds twice since April! However, we did have a med free summer & you know it wasn't that bad & the best part is my daughter gained 10 pounds! Anyway, back to the school issue. It seems that every year it's the same thing. My daughter cannot handle a full school day without being in trouble for something, not doing her class work & she still has a very hard times making friends. She has 1 (sometimes). It kills me because I see the way the other kids look at her. She is getting nothing from school, I don't think she has learned 1 new thing yet this year. My question for those of you that homeschool (or anyone else for that matter) is, should I consider homeschool for her? She does great at home with no meds & it actually seems that she is more relaxed with doing work. I usually sit with her while she does her homework & read her the directions & she does extremley well. I'm now a stay at home mom anyway. I have also checked out some homeschool groups in our area & they seem to offer quite a bit in the way of social interaction. Any input or advice from you all will be soooooo greatly appreciated. Sorry that I didn't really keep this short & sweet.

[jj]

It sure sounds like you should. I don't have first hand experience with homeschooling but my sis homeschools but unfortunatley it isn't working for her as her daughter doesn't do well at home and sadly did awful in public school as well. In your case it sounds like your daughter does fine with your direction. But then there is the principle of the thing, ie: The school SHOULD be doing right by her and following the IEP. I guess you have to ask yourself the question, "Do I have it in me to fight the school?", "If I fight the school, what expense does my daughter pay?" These are tough questions.

By the way, I have several nieces that homeschool. One has three kids (all boys), one has five kids, two other nieces have two kids each. The niece with the 5 kids have two that are autistic/ aspergers. And they do a wonderful job and wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm really sorry the school isn't doing right by your daughter. Makes me so mad!

[trid]

As a home school, cyber school, public school mom, I can say if you are even think about it, then you can do it, and since they aren't making any progress, anything you do at home will be better than what they are doing.

I don't see how you can go wrong. The worst case scenario is she comes home and doesn't make any progress. But that is what is happening where she is at, and at least at home nobody is destroying her self esteem! You will get to know your daughter in a way that can't happen when she is gone so many hours every day. If you are spending 4 hours a night doing homework with her, then why can't you spend that same 4 hours with her doing school work, and eliminate the unnecessary middle man? That was the deciding factor for me with my son. He was spending so much time doing home work, that it was like I was teaching him everything anyway, and we were stressed trying to meet the exact rules of the school (like only black pen, not blue, and me having to sign the work when it was done but the school never signed the homework book for me!, etc.)

My boys and I are far more relaxed now than ever, and they are learning more in the same length of time, and I can honestly say, we are best friends.

[misty]

Sept 29, 2008 15:08:08 GMT -5 trid said:

As a home school, cyber school, public school mom, I can say if you are even think about it, then you can do it, and since they aren't making any progress, anything you do at home will be better than what they are doing.

I second what Trid said. This is my first year cyber schooling my daughter & we just LOVE it! She can sleep in & we can start whenever we feel like it. She can take breaks when the work gets overwhelming. She can work at her own pace. She loves it, I love it, & so far she's doing really well. I say it can't hurt to try. Its easy to put the child back in public school if homeschooling doesn't work out.

[bugsmom]

Islandgirl...its so good to see you back on our boards. I've often wondered how you and your daughter were doing.

As someone who just starting homeschooling my son this year, I have to tell you that it is the BEST decision I have EVER made in regards to my son's schooling. He is a totally different kid. I never in my wildest dreams would have believed he would find his way back to loving learning again, but in a short six weeks he has.

If your school is not doing the best for your daughter and refuse to comply with the IEP (which is illegal), I agree with the others and say you have nothing to loose. It is a huge commitment, but if you think you can do a better job, and she works well for you one-on-one, go for it. You'd be amazed how they can thrive when learning in a safe, possitive environment. My only regret is that I should have done it two years ago when my son started asking me to homeschool him.

In the past six weeks I've watched my sons anxiety dwindle away. At the end of the last school year he had absolutely no self-esteem. He felt like the dumb kid who could never do anything right and was always in trouble. Today, we layed in his room and did a social studies lesson that should have only taken 30 minutes. But because he was so interested in the topic and he had a million questions, he was engaged with me for almost 2 hours! It was priceless.

So, I guess you know where I stand. Hee Hee. I think that if you can do it, its worth a try. Like Misty said, you can always go back to school if it doesn't work out well. But, from what you said about her repsonding well to you, I think you'll do fine.

Good luck in your decision!

[puzzled]

Islandmom, I am sorry to hear that your daughter is not doing so well in school...I remember that wonderful teacher she had a few years ago...

I would say if you want to try it, go for it....I am betting you both will be more relaxes and happy.....perhaps in a few years when you have rebuilt her confidence a bit, she will want to go back...or not. If it means she can be med free....and not pressured, there really is no reason not to.

[charliegirl]

Go for it! I wish I had homeschooled my son at that age. He did better and loved learning when I did homeschool him. It would have saved him a lot of heartache if I could have done that before school destroyed his self esteem. He is back in public school again and hates it but I just don't have the time to work with him at home.

[islandmom]

Thanks for all the replies! It's really good to be back with the ones who help! I'm going to talk it over with my husband this week (he's away with work right now) & hopefully he will be on board also. I just want her to feel better about herself & realize just how smart she really is. Her little self esteem is pretty much gone, she always cries & says she just wishes she was normal. Poor thing, it breaks my heart. Puzzled, my daughter always talks about that 1 teacher & says she wishes she could take her all through school (I agree). Thank again everyone, I will definately keep you all posted!

[puzzled]

Sept 30, 2008 12:08:21 GMT -5 islandmom said:

Thanks for all the replies! It's really good to be back with the ones who help! I'm going to talk it over with my husband this week (he's away with work right now) & hopefully he will be on board also. I just want her to feel better about herself & realize just how smart she really is. Her little self esteem is pretty much gone, she always cries & says she just wishes she was normal. Poor thing, it breaks my heart. Puzzled, my daughter always talks about that 1 teacher & says she wishes she could take her all through school (I agree). Thank again everyone, I will definately keep you all posted!

I always remember that she was sure to keep her drinking juice and eating little snacks to keep her weight up. Too bad all teachers cannot be that caring!

I remember just before Chase was dx and medicated, when he would say "Mom, I don't know why you and Mrs. Walker think I am so smart, I am too dumb to learn anything." It broke my heart and if the school had not continued to be so helpful, I would have considered homeschool, or cyberschool, which Ohio offers....

good luck and keep us posted!

[wetmores]

Happy Wednesday!

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Sue Jones

Sue brings her experience as an educator to Net Haven's Wednesday night education chat and Team Prairie's educational products. She is a reading and learning disabilities specialist trained in multisensory structured language instruction, specifically Orton-Gillingham methods. Sue has her Master's of Education in learning disabilities.